January: Tony Blair is arrested at Heathrow Airport as he returns from yet another foreign speaking engagement (receipts since leaving office: £12m). He is flown to The Hague to stand trial for war crimes for his part in the illegal, unprovoked attack on a defenceless country, Iraq, justified by proven lies, and for the subsequent physical, social and cultural destruction of that country, causing the death of up to a million people. According to the Nuremberg Tribunal, this is the "paramount war crime". The prosecution tells Blair’s defence team it will not accept a plea of "sincerely believing". Cherie Blair, a close collaborator who has compared her husband with Winston Churchill, is cautioned.
February: Following the inauguration of Barack Obama as president of the United States, his predecessor, George W Bush, is arrested leaving the Church of the Holy Crusader in his home town of Crawford, Texas. He is flown to The Hague in War Criminal One. (See above for prosecution details.) Laura Bush, after a plea bargain, agrees to give evidence against the former president, "for God’s sake".
March: Former vice-president Dick Cheney shoots himself in the foot hunting squirrels following a prayer breakfast in Hope, Florida.
April: Aung San Suu Kyi is released from house arrest and assumes her rightful place as the democratic head of the government of Burma.
May: All American and British troops leave Iraq, including the "300-400" British troops who are to stay behind to "train Iraqis" and do the kind of special forces dirty work almost never reported by embedded journalists.
June: All Nato troops leave Afghanistan…
Hoewel het uitkomen van dit wensenlijstje te mooi zou zijn om waar te zijn – en er nationale verlangens aan toegevoegd kunnen worden zoals, eindelijk, het parlementaire onderzoek naar de Nederlandse steun aan de invasie van Irak en de heilloze Global War on Terror:
GELUKKIG EN VREDIG NIEUW JAAR!